wanna laugh?

so.. i just woke up from another nyquil nap (still from the nighttime dose)..and Amanda (my sister) called. I wish the conversation could have been recorded for youtube. It woulda hit front page for sure. i hear the phone ring, Tyson answers, says "Hi Amanda" and I start banging on the wall to indicate 'i'm awake, I wanna talk to her'...he interprets correctly, and brings the cordless in to our room where i lay in a sweaty NyQuil induced, pillowface creased mess. (No drool Stef, my mouth is so dry) Hossmonster (Me): Hellllo? (picture my voice to sound like a little mouse thats strungout in a back alley, holding the bottle, but still wanting to talk to her best friend) Perky (Amanda): LEIGH-ANN?! Is that you?! HM: Yessss. (still the voice, all the way thru) P: No it's not!! You're joking! HM: No, this really is me. I really sound like death warmed over. P: OH MY GOODNESS! *LAUUUUUGHS*.... Sorry...but i can't help it! HM: That's okay, I'd laugh too if it was you. Can you please cut my head off? P: Yes. i'll be right over with scissors. HM: No. I have decorative scissors. Let's keep it pretty. This is the moneymaker. P: (Still laughing {so hard, its contagiously making her daughters laugh at me...and so we have a crowd}) Are they scalloped scissors? HM: Close. Clouds. I dig that one. P: LA, call Kody...he'll get a big kick outa you right now. HM: No need, I know you'll call them. P: You're right. I'm calling Mom as soon as she gets home. It's too funny not to. HM: So what'd you call for? P: I was wondering if you went to the doctor... HM: Ya... sorta. When we called this morning... my doctor isn't in today. And I won't last the weekend, so we called Envoy. P: (New laughing at me!) I saw an add for that Doctor on Call thing in the Newspaper yesterday, and said to Matt...I think this is a male escort service! Who actually calls this?! Now i know. You do. HM: (Hacking Laughter) He was no stripper. Hopefully anyways. He was like 80 years old... Actually... i felt like that scene in Dirty Dancing, where Penny (Me) needs a doctor, and Baby goes and gets daddy, and Johnny (Tyson) says, "she's in here"--- P: (Cuts in with her own DD monologue) YA! Dr. Jake Housemann has his black medical bag... and Penny's in agony, "Whose responsible for this girl?", "I am", "*tisk*, "It's gonna be allright"..."Take off that makeup"...(fastforward, crying Baby on the porch...) HM: (laughing like a highpitch Hyena) I should watch that today! P: YA! Oh--- gotta go, Olivia's biting Kennedy. HM: k, byeee. Doctor's inspection reports I have a bad cold, that has caused an infection in my throat and ears. Prescription: More cowbell or Amoxicillin. PS: I'm still announcing the contest winners today. Just gotta take a picture of the photobooth album. Stay tuned.