lets talk about what we all pretend not to care about. cause we're cool like that ;)

Friend wrote:
I need to vent. And it's probably a little childish, and it isn't directed towards you at all. This is just in general. But how can people view a picture 25 times or over 100 times and not even make one comment? Is my photography or art that boring? I know we've talked about this before with the Etsy site and me wanting to start up a site, but its stuff like this that just doesn't make you feel good enough, it just doesn't do very good on the whole confidence level. So to speak. I comment on peoples work all of the time. Writing this to you was probably stupid but i just need to get it off my chest. It's been bugging me for months.
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LA:
oh sweetie... i wish i could give you a hug! i've totally known that feeling before...and it kinda hurts. makes ya insecure about what you're sharing. BUT i will say this!!! You are fabulous and have ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to question your work. People start commenting when other people comment. lol... weird. but once theres one comment, probably another will follow...and then more and more. its so high school.
and its even worse on flickr 'cause people are just beboppin and skattin (seinfeld quote) all over and they don't wanna stop their flow to comment. it doesn't mean you're not comment-worthy (lol, ref seinfeld quote: "sponge-worthy")... i wish i could comment more on all my friends photos and blogs...but i honestly just don't have much time. i'm so behind on so many things...and just can't always do it. I look so i can keep up, but its hard to comment often. (i know you probably weren't aiming your frustration at me... but i just wanted to say that)
the other thing is... when people CONNECT with you... they'll connect with your photos or moments SO much more! so... share in your descriptions *charming* insights into those moments. and write in a conversational way... not "informative/professional". conversational invites everyone into your world and they will connect! connections=comments.
be yourself and enjoy sharing. do it for you. i love you, and i hope you have a really special day. please try hard not to value your internet-self-worth on the quanity of your comments. you are awesome and i hope you keep persevering in your creative/art life! you totally rock! :)
love leigh-ann
ps. you are not childish at all. i totally understand why you're feeling frustrated.
pps. i'd like to blog this cause its a frustrating thing for a lot of people. can i post this conversation (w/o your name) on my blog? xox
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Friend:
Thanks Leigh Ann for all of your input. Sometimes its nice to know that other people have or had this problem. And I totally wasn't directing anything towards you.....it was all in general. I'm so glad that I have met you in blog world...not only are you very inspiring, but you care enough to take the time to respond when someone is down and out. I hope you have a great day too.
Ooooh I forgot....yes you can put this in your blog post if you'd like.
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People: Your comments cheer your friends up. If you feel something happy for them, type it. Comments create smiles ;)

22 comments:

  1. If you have permission, link to your friend, I would love to check her stuff out!

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  2. Well said! I hate it when people don't leave a comment!! :)

    Oh well...sometimes it's just life!

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  3. A-
    if you want, link yourself so Carrie Sue can come see you :)

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  4. I totally agree with what you said so I'm leaving you a comment for support.
    I'm also going to give you this link because when I read some of these posts I thought of sharing it with you - go figure...
    http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

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  5. i agree!! I'm starting out on photography (very bad btw) and I'm let down each time I log on and have no comments.

    Can you tell your friend to link me too? We can be comment-free flickr buddies!! :o)

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  6. i feel that way about my website and lately makes me feel like I want to delete it. Makes you feel unimportant.

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  7. Wow - I had the exact same thought this morning. But then I reminded myself that I do this for my own inspiration as much as anything and that makes it important even what is shared goes without comment.

    But it definitely serves as a reminder to stop and say "hello" when we see something that inspires or just brightens our day.

    I'm willing to play blogger tag with anyone looking for some love. Comment on my blog with a link to yours and I promise you will get a new visitor and a comment in return. : )

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  8. I totally *get* this post. I've felt that way in the past.
    Love where you wrote "comments create smiles" so true!

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  9. I've fought with this a lot as well. Some times I'll get a few comments on photos or blog..and then be dry for a long time. With flickr..once the dry spell starts I'll get a little depressed and stop taking photos for a while. Not intentionally...it just always seems to happen. I wonder what I'm even doing it for. Then one day I'll wake up and kick myself in the pants, realizing that I started all of this for myself - as therapy, for fun, to be creative. I LOVE the people that I've met through these things and I love meeting new people because of it...I just have to remember that isn't why I started in the first place.

    This post is one of the many reasons I love ya LA - you know what we all need, lol.

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  10. you just totally posted about how we all feel LA... i get so sad and doubting when i don't have comment s and feedback...with I wasn't so insecure and wish I truly did this just for me but honestly, i don't and i do need validation and that is just the way I am. Thanks for blowing the lid off of a feeling alot of us probably have.

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  11. I've come to realize that just because you don't have comments, dosen't mean people aren't looking, reading and appreciating. Some of my favorite blogs hardly have ANY comments - and I find it very hard to beleive that it's because I'm the only one who think they're great.

    I've found when you leave comments, alot of times you get some back - so put your thoughts out there for others and that may help things along :-)

    I'll tell you when that starts working for me...haha.

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  12. valofthesouth@gmail.com3/27/2008 12:28:00 am

    In defense of the non comment leavers (that would be me) - it can be an insecurity thing...what I have to say really isn't important, they don't know me, I don't want them to think I'm weird, or maybe I just want to lurk - with no pressure to come up with something clever or witty or most often times it could be just plain Laziness ;)

    Thanks for bringing this up - I'm going to try to be a commenter from here on out...(and honestly, it never occured to me to leave a comment on flickr!!)

    comment worthy - love it!

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  13. this is such a good post LA!
    i´m sure most of the poeple have the same kind of feelings that your friend. like we´ve read from the comments in this post. :)
    love you gf!

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  14. i'm a *big* believer in commenting. if someone inspires you or stirs something in you, leave a note and let them know that they've moved you or that you can totally relate to what they are sharing.

    lisa marie
    theloveliestbloom.blogspot.com

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  15. Hi, I found your blog via The Red Velvet Kit club a month or so ago and always love looking at your work and ideas and hearing about your life.
    I don't normally comment because for me it's like kind of going up to a stranger in the street and saying 'hey I love your hat' - I am just too shy to do it and don't want pple to think I am a kook.
    When I do comment on someone's blog who I don't 'know' I worry about commenting too frequently otherwise they'll think I am weird or a stalker.
    Wow I sound deeply insecure, when all I am is a craft loving mother of 3 boys who loves the inspiration that comes from the blogs I read.
    I am glad you vented and gave me the courage to comment! :)

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  16. I had no idea some reasons were so deep rooted... wow. I never even thought of some of those things. Thanks for sharing openly everyone! You're all wonderful!
    Some of you're things made me sad... cause there's insecurities I wish I could hug out of you...
    Please please believe in WHO YOU ARE! You really are fabulous!
    Thanks for all the comments guys! :) Always... :]

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  17. I see both sides, and the insecurities that come with them. I hereby promise to improve on my blog communication and not get too upset when I don't get comment love. It's funny how much a little thing like a comment can tickle me and make my day, and I sometimes forget that when I am reading other people's blogs. Thanks Leigh~Ann!

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  18. i agree...i wish i got more comments (and not for the giveaway only!)

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  19. ps. toni-ann (hi hyphen sister!)
    people won't think you're stalking them... it's different than "real world". they'll love you leaving them comments, and eventually recognize you. its like a weird little friendship :)
    some "strangers" comment on almost all of my posts, and i never think its creepy. and i feel like i know them... and i kinda do now :)
    bobbi and bekka are my funniest. they're like... often first, haha.

    val: what you have to say is important :) don't hold back :)

    i'm lazy too. i getcha.

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  20. This post was very inspiring and I just have one more thing to add....

    When you comment you should probably comment ON TIME....LOL

    (This is obviously a joke since I just commented on your post from Tuesday)

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  21. :( I've got 4 new posts and no comments.... :P
    I totally feel happy when someone leaves me a comment, and sad when no one has. After reading all of the comments it has shed some light as to possibly why no comments are left. It's interesting.... hmmmm.

    xoxo
    Mand

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  22. Hello Leigh Ann, Well lets try this again..... I want to thank you for the idea of posting this. And knowing that I am not alone, and that pretty much everyone who posted a comment on this situation feels the same way or somewhat as I do. If anything we have just in a way formed ourselves a little group of new friends for all of us. I know that comments always makes me happy, and when I leave comments it's because I found something inspiring about you.

    I really wish that what I wrote yesterday didn't dissapear on me b/c it wasn't the same as what I wrote today.

    Have a Wonderful Weekend Everyone!! I am going to try and finish my quilt that I am making. All I need to do is the binding and I am scared to death I am going to mess it up. I will post when I am finished with it.

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