pocket full

Hi. I thought I wouldn't want to blog for a while, but for me, this is just so therapeutic and natural. A way to sort my jumbled thoughts. I feel like Posie Gets Cozy. Just over a month ago, she sadly lost her best friend, her dog Audrey, and it was traggic. I cried reading her heartbreak, and I sent her my love. Sadly now, I'm feeling the same loss and pain. Oh my lovely friends. I'm snotty-faced after reading everyones kind words. Tyson and I held hands tight, as we read together, each comment from my last 2 posts. Thank you so much for your love. Some of you I don't even know and still, your words brought joy. And to my friends, simply, Thank-You. I love you. I've been crying so much my face is bursting blood vessels. I miss him so much. Today was incredibly hard for all of us. I'm wearing Grandpas t-shirt right now and enjoying his good Grandpa smell. Grandpa didn't want a funeral, but we spent time with him this morning in his hospital room. The nursing staff was so good to us. At the end, we all left the room and gave everyone a chance to go in and say our goodbyes. Just us and Grandpa. I was finally able to crawl into bed and cuddle with my grandpa one last time. I squeezed him tight. We talked. I rubbed his earlobes. I kissed him so much. From me, from Tyson, from me, from my future babies, from me, from me, from me... lol, I just didn't want to leave him. I got up to leave the room, and giggled. Ah screw it, he needs more kisses still...and so I loaded him up till we meet at our 'next destination' ;) I'll leave you with our nice story... When we walked into Grandpas room this morning, (room 326... which happens to be his birthday, Jan THIRD ninteenTWENTYSIX) {it was totally hard. I can't go into that.} Anyways-- Grandma and Aunt Sharleen went up to Grandpa, to make sure he's comfortable... and they look to see what was in his t-shirt chest pocket. Maybe a message from the nightime? There was a used kleenex. Grandma removed it, and gently replaced it with 2 new ones, and said "he's going to need these". Later, while emptying Grandpas nighttable, Gran found one of Grandpa's half eaten Aero chocolate bars. She said, here Shawn (my dad), you eat this :) Sitting beside my dad, he offered me a piece of his chocolate bar. I said, Yes. My last piece of Grandpas chocolate. Dad started crying, he walked up to Grandpa, and put the remainder in Grandpas chest pocket. I lost it. (these gifts will all be in his ashes) Later, when each saying goodbye, Kody put a small roll of wire in Grandpa's chest pocket... "Something for him to do," Kody smiled. Uncle Gerry put in a newspaper clipping of the baseball scores. Tomorrow, (at the viewing) I have a few special pictures for his pocket; family and memories. Special treasures that Grandpa loves. His chest pocket, a little happy gift for Our Best. We all loved this. Grandpa totally does too. We just know this. Goodnight. Thank you for everything Everyone. Love Leigh-Ann A Thank-You from Kody, my brother.

the brother said...

as i was reading through all the kind remarks i came to realize what great friends my sister has THANK YOU everyone for your love and support it is much needed and much appreciated FYI i've already taken over grandpas position and blamed my fluffs on him when LA got mad at me for letting one go, well letting a couple go

September 27, 2007 9:54 PM